relationships galore
I essentially wasted away my weekend by chillaxing at Jodie's for practically the whole of Saturday, sleeping away Sunday's daylight hours then watching World Cup Finals at 230am this morning. Only managed to get in an hour of sleep from 5+ till 645. Suffice to say I was oscillating between awake and sleepy for the whole day. Screwed up sleep cycle, completely.
Saturday was absurd. We "swam" for a while, with Tiffany and Cheryl going perv as an interlude *shudders* I'm really disturbed and traumatized over the pictures they took with
my camera, damn it! Played Wii too - I'm an epic failure, honestly. Super Mario - FAIL. Showdown thingy - FAIL. DDR - FAIL (not really, I just got bored?). Guitar Hero - FAIL. Epic... I astounded Tashauna and Rachelle with my amazing sense of direction and motor skills as usual. They should know - they've watched me run in circles while playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. That one was an epic fail. Not to mention I could run in circles while playing Cabal back in Sec 4?
Dinner was at Ministry of Steak 'cause Thai Express closed and those (to use a very Bleach phrase) fools didn't realize until we got there. It was okay except for the sucky service and the fact I had a disgusting headache. Tash's rubbing off me, I swear! I had no idea headaches were contagious. Too bad we didn't get to camwhore 'cause I was at the table with the most camera-shy person ever! Oh, I saw Jas and Yeow while eating. Still pretty curious as to what was going on but I don't dare to ask. 0.0
We went to dessert bowl after that. That was seriously: Fuck. My. Life.
The dessert wasn't that fantastic - totally not worth the money I paid for it :( Then it just got worse. I had a headache already but still... I mean, clique outing right, so try to be social and all that shit lah. Anyway, I've dealt with worse headaches before... So when Chiu asked that bitch if she knew some J1 councilor, I simply shunpian ask about that annoying guy in the study who screwed up my history paper 1. It went down something like this:
L: Hey, come to think of it, so did anything happen to that irritating Robert whazisname?
BITCH: Nothing, *scoff* now you see how "great" Y's power is?
L: I was inquiring 'cause A1 mentioned it to our CT.
BITCH: Whatever. You realize that you mention him you're making me bad mood?
L: I didn't even mention Y, you brought him up yourself.
BITCH: Whatever.
L: *seething "wtf"s in her head* Excuse me (Tashauna, Rachelle), I need the ladies.
I didn't even mention Yawn. Freakin' hell, I didn't even think of him when I asked that question! Don't fucking accuse me of something I didn't even do, goddamn it! Seriously, the way she goes on about him, I'd swear that she likes him or something. Interestingly, both Michelle, Val and Pree agree. It'd be quite hilarious to see the look on Yawn's face if I told him but I have no intention to risk certain death just yet.
Still!
It is pretty true lor. It's like she's obsessed with him or something. Chinese grade please? Seriously what is this? Abarai versus Kuchiki; Uzumaki versus Uchiha? (Yes, I'm aware those are all males but hell, the analogy is close enough, for all that those yaoi pairings that Donna parrots are really disturbing!)
But it is disturbing anyway! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking of it. *shudders* I feel like I'm being reallyreallyreally bitchy but I really can't help it! It's just so disturbing!
The worst part is the denial: Denial's not the only river in Egypt.
That aside, I spent Sunday sulking and today bitching while in school. Jiaoying just had to say it in Lit class and I just burst out laughing non-stop for all that I was half-asleep prior to that. Honestly! Better sense of timing please?
Rachelle disagrees though and tells me their "relationship" (or lack thereof) is like mine with that... *struggles to find an adequate word* imbecile. Minus the part where I used to have a crush on him. Rightttt... Okayyyy... She practically copy-pasted Val, excepting the qualifier. Fuck. Too much history.
Speaking of which, we "argued" over waiting for a person over lunch after history lecture. Like there's a period when even when you aren't together you'd still want to be together, versus you don't want to be together anymore. That plus something that Diana/Donna asked me a while ago kinda clicked it for me. Ner/Junk asked me: what if (because we were talking about appearance changing post-As as per my happy plan) you meet someone you used to like next time, but that person doesn't recognize you though you recognize him and now he likes you? It wasn't really pinned on any guy but when I told Pree, she automatically jumped to conclusions. But either way, my answer's still the same: I would walk away. If he couldn't accept me for what I was but now that I look different he likes me, it's absurdly superficial and grossly degrading. I still have some self-respect left.
I'm more into Pree's stage of "don't wait" because I still have my pride and self-respect and I don't see the worth in it anymore. But at the same time, still sorta in the (Val and Ezra's) stage of still-want-something because I still regret some of the stupid things I did in J1. But hey, what's done is done. There's no way to go back and change what I've done, so screw it. I'll accept what it has come to be and just live (: The way Tash, Viv and Rach have been nagging me to for ages already. I guess awesome friends count and I mean both school and sec (pri?) sch besties ♥
While waiting for Val to finish with Econs remedial, Pree and I kinda discussed relationship stuff instead of doing homework/studying. Typical us, seriously! Somehow guys with really short relationships came up and well... It just reminds me.
I'm really scared for Rach. I mean, I know she's happy with the Alien but he had tons of girls before her. And he tells her they don't count 'cause he didn't feel anything for them. What if he says that about her when they break up? I think she's living with her head in the clouds. I don't know. It's like the way they interact, I don't know what he wants from her and I'm scared he's just out to use her.
What if he gets bored of waiting and they break up? Or if he gets what he wants then breaks up with her? (For which I'll really get violent) I don't want any of my close friends to get hurt.
She's still living in some idealized world - but then, don't we all. I'm just scared for her, I guess. The best part is, she knows the relationship won't last. It just makes it all the more ridiculous. I just hope if anything happens, it happens at a better point in time - like when there are no crucial exams or whatever. Other than that, there's nothing I can do except hope that he proves me wrong. That they prove me wrong. I really hope they do.
I realized there's a lot of fear towards the end of this post, what on earth? But yeah, I'm scared for As: for myself and my friends. It's a make-or-break situation already. So yeah, I'm scared.
Which would make more sense if I were sleeping now instead of typing this, so to bed I shall go. Hopefully my porn-watching chibi brother doesn't do anything... JKJK! It's just a suspicion that's not confirmed yet.
lys @ 23:01, 12/07/2010