"shattered hopes and dreams"
myes are practically over
we're left with litl p5
which i'm prolly gonna screw up again
i feel so screwed cause i just keep screwing up my papers.
i got a feeling gp's screwed for both papers
econs being screwed's a DUH.
math.. i can kiss my 'A' goodbye - 26 marks lost alr?
i really do hate being jinxed.
lit so far is screwy and not too fantastic
oh and history.
what can i say about that subject, srsly?
i got an A the last time but its not gonna happen again!
Paper 2 i was semi distracted:
the whole "not-alike" syndrome of mine
just cuz the jinx was diag in front of me..
And even though i knew the content,
i'm not sure how well i spewed it out!
i just get a feeling i'm not gonna do well
so much for 60 points!
My predictions point at ard 55/90
But gauging from other's reactions,
they're predicting a 59 or so still.
i doubt i'm gonna get my 60 points.
to think i was going for 74 after CTs
then 65 before i stepped into the exam hall...
i'm insane.
talk about high targets.
i never know how to set a reachable target.
in everything.
just the other day
they were saying how me and the jinx are alike
in reaction to certain stuff
like stuff that we don't
need to know.
its kinda disturbing to know
that my friends talk about me in that sense
in front of
him of all people.
its weird enough that they do it in the first place
even when its in front of me
but in front of
him? my god.
and then they tell me crap about him too
stuff that is unnecessary for me to know at all
its just gonna take up capacity in my brain =.=
given how i remember the oddest things.
i don't
need to know his shitting rubbish,
for one.
i have no clue why they told me that.
and the problem is
the randomest things stick to me
like who said what in an extremely random situation
and i'm sure
everyone but me's forgotten already!
it
sucks.
i was so tempted to just shoot of a text:
"hey idiot, i know you hate me and all
but can you please get your tuition buddies
to shut the hell up about you?
cuz i really
don't wanna know.
its really annoying.
thanks."
viv and rach swears that i should've.
maybe next time.
its so annoying after all.
on another tangent...
my vanity is severely hurt.
i knew it was probably just me thinking too much
but i still thought...
maybe.i guess me right now is just like that.
what's the point right?
its
A level year
i
know i shouldn't be caring about shit like this
but it still hurts my feelings
that i was only good enough
for ew-worthy people.
it hurts.and it sucks.
and i don't even know why i care.
in 3 years time,
when we're all in uni..
they won't recognise me or know me at all
by then, i'll be lys for good
by then, i'll probably be dressing different
by then, i'll probably be using make-up properly (LOL)
by then, i'll
look different.
irrecognizable will come true.
so why do i care?
i can't have strings attached
if i wanna change so much
and have my little 'revenge' come true.
everyone's aiming FASS.
i'm aiming NTU.
if all goes well, i won't see them there.
And...
i think i'll stay in touch with a1 still
just that i'll avoid the cameras like the plague.
or psycho them to agree to avoid the cameras.
that would be difficult
considering how camwhore we are.
cut all the clique photos to clique only?
and then, when its all done,
they won't know what hit them
simply 'cause they won't recognize me.
all that requires no strings attached.
can you imagine if there were attachments?
its impossible.
childish, yes.
but i want my petit revenge.
okay... find my pillow now.
ja ne.