i should just slap myself

seriously, i should.
always hesitating,
letting that someone affect me
its stupid, really

the littlest thing can flashback to something else
the smallest detail can remind me of something...
its so plain foolish

I guess oJ calling me "foolish onee-san" is right
i am dumb about that.

its so very very stupid.

pw's officially over
i was so hyper once i turned in gpf
(the process of doing which was entertaining!
even though it was wwwwllllllooooooosssssssssss)
singing "fly away, fly away, fly away"

I kinda remixed and mutated
UN's Please Don't Cry...
The bit on "far away, far away... now."
Ironic, 'cos I was addicted to that song
when i used to like someone
The last time my hand shook with temper...
Gah! Yeah that.
And I was with my class... so yeah!
Kudos to you if you get the irony!

To hell with you if you don't
I don't quite care :P

That's for the over

The notquiteover... Gah
I sometimes hate vivi for being right
I may not think 24/7 or 25/7
But hell, I still do at times
And its not over yet
Eventually yes... but it isn't over yet

Damn, I need to break those childish habits
Grow up and stop letting all that past crap affect me
It still is
Random things making me emo...

Oh hell.
At least I got that outta my mind
Right back to scribble
Or revamping wordpress
Depends on my mood.

I finally did something about my outstanding debts
Finished junk's 08 bday pressie at LAST
And started on her this year xmas pressie
Totally no inspiration for her bday one yet

Should really go to sleep
Stupid PW tmr...
Then stupid econs the day after...
Whuttt...
We're already starting annoying lessons next week!!!

On a happier note
I flamed a godawful lucky ytd
well it was junk's friend's fic but who cares
it was pukeworthy
almost as pukeworthy as..
eh i can't think of a comparision

OH I KNOW!
how about the annoying person
i have to call a grp ldr until TMR ONLY!
Or the annoyance.
Yuppa.

Idiota, ttiana would say in a flash
Heh. Yellow flash!
Okay... my brain's warped...

But flaming's fun!
I should do it more often
But I don't wanna end up blind like ita-chyan
lol, its true!
it'll taint my delicate eyes
it was truly atrocious

anyway
cheryl and amanda have
coerced me into playing aquila maple
(again to the maple bit)
zzzz... I'm only lv 18 to their 92 and 39!
so noob...
I don't wanna play anymore

i rather audi but...
audiing alone is so... LONELY!
Drat amanda and hl
they always ps me!

Revamped my wordpress stuff
Or at least in the process of doing it
I always do it half way
then forget about it for months
before revamping it AGAIN

I need to stop doing this procrastination thing...

I really don't want to go to school
Now I think of it
(Contrary to what Viv says,
my thoughts don't revolve around xxx
24/7 or 25/7)
I don't want to see him

Gods, I hate that I still can remember stupid shit
Shit that I should just chuck aside
Attempting apathy and failing miserably
As always. Over and over again.

And then there's gz.
Oh god, no.
I don't mind the lessons itself
They are slack and simply put simpler
than what we had back in PL
Duh.
GWH vs Silver?

But its so boring that i'm bored to tears
There's hardly any challenge in it!
Heck I don't even need
to force myself to prac anymore!

And all the time I have to put up with that Annoyance.
I dunno. With all that transfer talk
Heck, I'm starting to feel guilty
Damn it.
I hate feeling guilty.
It'll always lead up to possible mianhaeyos
like in sec 3!
No way, it was partly that moron's fault too!

I'm gonna sleep.
Thinking too much.
I'm definitely not sane and coherent right now!

so goddamn tired
its kinda the lack of sleep
kinda the staring at comp screens
(hey what else is there to do in pw class!)
and kinda the crying

gods, i hate it
i hate that i cry when i get mad
yeah i hold it back
but it eventually comes out
so annoying

i hate it that i lose all my senses
when i get mad
all the insults, logic, just flies out of my mind
all i can think of is screaming expletives
all the common 'fuck' 'bastard' etc. just comes out

what becomes of the better ones beats me
the japanese, korean, french
heck, even the more soph english ones
dialect too, and of course, eldalie
i just blank out

i can't smile like FS or YS
sadistically serene
plotting some form of vengeance
i tried it when F used to bug me
when they used to tease me about K
but epic fail

keeping my cool only lasts for so long
if only i were as levelheaded
as some of the people i know

in the aftermath
i can always think of tons of insults
various points i could've used
but somehow, i never remember them
next time around

cb is it?
my pile of dialect/english rebuttal comes in

1. it takes one to know one: you are a girl - an utter disgrace to the female gender
2. bird people speaks bird talk

who gives a damn if its crude
i did cruder than that
heck, it was totally below the belt

fine, i'm a BIT ashamed of that
i never intended to use that insult
eh except on maybe B, 'Tiara''s bro...
i could never say it to either F/K
stupid traitorous past thoughts!

but honestly,
i think that bastard was to blame
heck i told him loud and clear
yes i was annoyed
who won't be!
i was reading dgm, listening to fated/jewel <333 and icytowering
i already did my work
DUH i didn't give a shit!

i told that asshole
exactly what had been done
what was left to do
hell i even did some of it
i could have had been playing...

but no, the utterly rotten bastard
couldn't LISTEN
or else he has a friggin' memory/hearing problem!
and after hanging up on my calls numerous times
he has the fucking CHEEK to tell me off for not picking up my phone!

then prove that he didn't even listen to what i said
and put the blame on guess who? ME
The. Fuck?

and while i try to point that out
(admittedly amid much swearing
- but if you know me,
it's expected! who are my best friends, srsly!)
he tells me to shut the fuck up and calls me a cb

i swear, the best i could come up with was foutu kaesaekki
only because i've used it too often in the past
my insults are as bitch-based that i can't flip them
in the anger haze

oh fine, i admit who cares
everyone knows by now
the only one besides the au typicale rusty knife plan
and the m-fucking bastard stuff and cliched etc
was fuck off and fuck yourself
cuz no one would fuck you anyway.

like i said totally below the belt
never intended for use
but hell i was so angry
i can't remember the last time i was angry
till my hands were shaking

actually on second thought
i do.
chinese class where the whole "jumping" thing originated

itai. i hate that memory
all of my memories keep you near.
if that's the case
i don't want my memories of you

sometimes, i think i dreamt it up
all those memories
its just a fantasy i concocted
as much as i know its untrue
if anyone saw us now
they would say it was all my imagination

...if i could only say
...and i'm cursing your name
...its too late

"Regret" won't be my "Teardrops"
not anymore.

26121992.
leavingSEVENTEEN.(sayo!)
plmgss. srjc
4a1 '0EIGHT. 0NINE-1a01. 'TEN-2a01.
CAP '07 ♥


October 2007 | November 2007 | December 2007 | January 2008 | February 2008 | March 2008 | April 2008 | June 2008 | August 2008 | September 2008 | April 2009 | October 2009 | November 2009 | January 2010 | February 2010 | April 2010 | May 2010 | June 2010 | July 2010 | August 2010 | October 2010 | November 2010 | January 2011 | March 2011 | April 2011 | August 2011 |


layout: +
fonts: +
brushes: + +
image: +